Rabbi, Your Cleavage is Showing

Rabbi, Your Cleavage Is Showing chronicles Michal Mendelsohn’s extraordinary journey from a lonely childhood in Manhattan to becoming one of the first women ordained as a rabbi by Hebrew Union College in 1975. She details her struggles as a child raised in hotel apartments by parents who were emotionally detached. The memoir narrates her strained relationship with her father after the death of her mother and her unexpected belonging experience in Israel during the Six-Day War, where she lived on a kibbutz, served in the IDF entertainment corps, and discovered her Jewish identity. Returning to America, she faced relentless sexism in rabbinical school and congregations that scrutinized her appearance (“her cleavage is showing!'') while denying her mentorship and fair placement. Her career evolved through law school, radio hosting, teaching, and nonprofit leadership. At the same time, she had to handle the challenges of being a single mom while working three jobs. Then there is the exciting discovery of her second husband, Fred, who became a companion and partner.

Michal Mendelsohn’s memoir captivated me with its fiercely intelligent and wryly humorous voice, and the unflinching honesty about institutional misogyny within Jewish religious life. She underlines the tension between American Reform Judaism and Israeli secular-religious culture, revealing how women were historically excluded from spiritual participation despite Torah’s commandment that “male and female created He them.” Her memoir is complemented by soul-searching, thoughtful poetry that is delightful to read. “Damn Cigarettes” captures the seemingly absurd experience of a mother: “She'd puff and puff and puff all day/bean bag ashtray in hand lest wisps/of dirty ash-dust go astray;” In “Even the Rabbi Wrestles” she writes about the spiritual struggle, capturing the tension between what one believes and what one practices in the following lines: “I chant the words, I wear the shawl,/wrap tefillin, rise and fall/my voice still lifts the ancient song,/but inside, something feels all wrong.” Rabbi, Your Cleavage Is Showing is a feminist document and a deeply human story of grit, faith, and identity. These qualities of the writing are nourished by the author’s battle with tradition, trauma, and the persistent hope for belonging.